Average Night Life
by Scarabbug
Summary: Simon would never get used to it. Post Series. AU. Short oneshot.


**Very much inspired by a scene in LeDiz's YuGiOh fanfiction: Homecomings. (Go check it out if you're into YuGiOh, it rocks muchly as does all her fic.) **

**Set AU verse, post end of last season. Parents know about the Ace Thing. Standard disclaimers apply.

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Average Night Life. 

Simon had no doubt that Fiona was perfectly justified in wanting to call the police. Not that it would've done any good. It wasn't like they'd been missing for twenty four hours. Simon knew very well where they'd gotten to.

He'd been counting down the last few hours himself and was starting to regret quitting the smoking habit when he was eighteen (having been using them for a total of four weeks but, still… something so dangerous had to be popular for some reason…

Besides what with the possibility that his home could be flattered at any one point with all of them… '_No_,' Simon's brain said. '_That's enough of that Simon. There'll be no thinking about doom disaster and other discrepancies in normality, not right now. not until you're sure the kids are safe_…'

The kids.

God

There wasn't much sleeping going on. There never was when these things happened. Simon sat up watching the news with Jeremy, shuffling cards besides him, trying to pretend he wasn't nervous. He was biting his lip, that same way Mark did when he knew something weird was going to happen. Fiona had gotten ready for bed but was now just sitting there under the sheets and not actually looking anywhere near sleep in the last three times he'd gone up to check on her.

'Come on, Son. Do me a favour and walk through that door before your mother works herself up… before I do for that matter.'

Sometimes he wondered how he'd ever let things get this far without noticing. Without… realising. Just how blind had he been, anyway? The car battery, the broken furniture Mark's sudden tendency to rush off in the middle of the night which apparently had nothing to do with teenage hormones and everything to do with saving the world. All perfectly inconspicuous when you looked at them as individual events but put them together and the truth became as unbreakable as a well enforced English Defensive Square.

He'd been right to assume videogames were involved, of course. Maybe there was some truth in all those news reports about increased violence as a result of the internet…

They finally reappeared however, at quarter past five in the morning. Dishevelled, bedraggled and in need of anything but more movement.

'Hi dad,' Mark sighed, 'Um… panic over.'

Simon was… actually to admit it, he'd been about to do the father-fussing thing mark hated (darn the boy, he deserved it anyway for the fright) but his attempt was interrupted by a crowd of not-entirely-humans trailing in behind him. He figures two of them were those knights. One of who was already taking off her boots and muttering irritably. Something else thumped through the door in the shape of some kind of bizarre dinosaur and a second later re-transfigured (or whatever the word was) into a familiar green skinned woman with long brown hair.

'For now that is,' another voice said, determinedly over mark's shoulder. 'But you know as well as I do, kid that evil never sleeps.'

'Sure, Ace, whatever you say…Right. Think we handled it guys,' Mark rubbed his face with his hands – making it considerably more dirty than it had been before and.. was that burning Simon could smell?

'_Oh, lord Mark…' _

'Son,' he swallowed. 'What… what happened to….'

'Oh. That. Sorry… Harpix. I meant to change into an old one first, sorry.'

Simon opened his mouth to suggest he didn't give a damn about the shirt but his brother cut in first.

'Sounds like quite a party kiddo,' Jeremy grinned. That me-nervous?-never grin was fooling no one, though, least of all Simon. Still mark didn't look like he had the energy to protest the shoulder hug.

'Thanks uncle Jeremy, hang on…' he turned to the bedraggled group who had already started moving into the house as if they owned the place.

'Kat, Brett you guys know your way around so… yeah, get on with that. Ace and Sparx I'm pretty sure my spare generator projects in the yard, only try not to drain anything else in the process, okay? Rat… I don't care what you do so long as you do it far away from me and anyone I care about and Heather…' he whirled, blinking tiredly. '…Wait, _Heather_? When did you…?'

The girl (whom Simon dumbly recognized as Mark's ex girlfriend… one of them anyway) snorted. 'Caught up with you at the central plaza, duh. What was I supposed to do, sit there and be bored? Hi there Mister Hollander. Long time no see,' she added leaning over Mark's shoulder. 'Oh by the way, Mark, you're welcome for the save with the electrical beacon system thing, lucky for me I knew the buzz beast would there or you would've been roadkill.'

'Uh… yeah. Thanks Heather,' Mark stiffened slightly glancing at his father – obviously one of the things he hadn't wanted them to know about. Simon could hear Fiona rushing down the stairs.

Simon was just repeating the word 'B-b-buzzbeast? Roadkill?' In a nervous stammer as she appeared.

'Roadkill? What roadkill, please Simon you say anything about there being roadkill!' Fiona was gasping. It was the first time she saw was Mark and again, her attempt at protective parenting went straight out the window when he suddenly turned away from her.

'Oh, hi mum, really sorry about the… oh, Ace for god's sakes, I said leave the TV!'

Fiona was caught mid hug watching him turn in the direction of the TV, she ended up, however, catching him instead, before he could fall and hit the carpet. 'Mark! Mark, sweetheart are you alright?'

'Oh, he's fine Mrs Hollander,' Ace had reappeared from the living room he was crackling a lot less than he had been before and Simon had a feeling their TV wouldn't be working again in the morning. 'Just a little low on power.'

'What Ace means to say, Mrs Hollander,' Kat mumbled quietly, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. 'Is that the next time Ace tells him to stop using himself as a beta blocked for a decharge ray or… or whatever it's called…'

'De-chargifier Beam, Kitty,' Sparx muttered from where she was sitting on the counter. 'Ow, darn boots aren't designed for that high a temperature…'

'Kat, Sparx. It's Kat.'

'And as Kat said,' Heather said, grumpily sinking into a chair. 'The next time Mark decides to use himself as a living shield, he should damn well _stop_ when Ace tells him to. '

'Oh and let you get blown up, yeah, good idea,' Mark mumbled irritably from semi-slouch. 'I didn't get any thanks for _that_ now, did I?'

Simon swallowed trying very hard not to let those words knock him off his feet.

'Oh for goodness sakes already, Mark, I wasn't _that_ bad off. In case you hadn't noticed I had them right where I wanted them.'

Mark gazed at her sceptically, despite it all. 'Oh, you wanted them over your head ready to go into a doom-drop attack, did you?'

Ace sighed. 'You two, come on, lets not kick up any static now that the bad guys are back in their holes. He'll be alright, Ma'am,' he said, giving Fiona what Simon could only describe as winning, yet oddly plastered on 3D smile. 'Trust me. Lightning Knights are quick healers.'

'I'll give you bloody…' Fiona swallowed her voice on a very uncharacteristic curse.

'Mum…' Mark groaned, looking mortified. 'Please. It's alright. Just…' he looked around at everyone. 'We just. We…'

'Saved the world again, man,' Brett said, managing a semi real smile over his folded arms.

'Yeah,' Mark smiled a little. 'Something like that. Just. No one died, okay?'

'Some people got a little close though, huh?' Jeremy put in, whistling. 'I'm impressed, kiddo. Now that's the Hollander genetics I was talking about. You know, Si, the bit that skipped you in the process.' Simon pretended not to hear the comment.

'No. not this time. We were on top of it and…' Mark shook his head as if not willing to elaborate anymore. '…yeah, Sleep. Everyone.'

Simon and Fiona's exchanged a glance. 'So… nobody wanting a ride home right now, then?' Jeremy mumbled sounding uncharacteristically nervous.

Nobody answered.

Fiona sighed, finally thinking it safe to let mark out of her grip. 'I'll get the extra blankets.'

'Thanks Ms Hollander,' Brett murmured sleepily from where he had his head down on the desk besides Heather. 'Hey, your 'rents rock, Mark.'

'Yeah. I know.'

Fiona almost smiled -relief, most likely - as she turned away from them. Jeremy gave Mark a last thump on the back before going back to his cards as if everything in the world was perfectly normal. Ace was apologising about the TV.

Simon was still pretty sure he would never get used to it.

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**Reviews and concrit are appreciated. **


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